First of all, don't bother with any worthless exercise

What's the point in going to the gym and running for a while staring at the same things all the time? Why not just get really drunk and then steal something nice and heavy, like a good road sign or cone, then try to take it home, avoiding all attempts to stop you by running away and shouting abuse at your would be do gooders. This not only earns you a present at the end of the night but also gets the adrenalin working better and so keeps you going longer, as well as providing you with motivation to keep going. And what could be better than to wake up and find a fantastic gift awaiting you as a sign of all your hard work? You can make up your own ideas as to how you want to exercise in a more interesting way as well, don't be content with being boring, try climbing on people's buildings or running through their gardens, maybe you like a good spot of wrestling, well then why not start fighting your friends in the street after a few drinks? The world is a big playground so use it for all it's worth, just try not to get caught!

What to Eat and Drink

We all know that there is no healthier option than a nice lump of meat and some chips, with cheese, washed down with plenty of beer, or vodka if that is your thing. But what else can you eat and drink that is tasty yet healthy? Well who cares? just get fat if you have to, but never give up eating what you like. Mental health is the key to happiness and you can't be happy if you never eat what you like. *This only applies to blokes, we don't want loads of fat birds on our hands. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol is also very good for you, don't treat alcohol with the respect it deserves like mugs who don't drink everyday. There really is no point. Can't think of anything to do? Just go to the pub and get wrecked. It will be worth it and probably pretty funny. It is also very good for your liver. Have gin on your breakfast cereal and rum in your tea. That will wake you up and have you looking as fresh as a daisy by the time you need to go to the pub. Getting up in the morning is not necessary, only do this if you are lying in a pile of sick or are planning to get wrecked early on and so are going to the shop to buy some beer.

This Never Fails, trust me. Give it the two year trial and I assure you, you will be looking very different by the end of your course!

Your new life awaits you! Don't be shy, get in touch:
Dr.Nelson@johnpom.co.uk